Through decades of Resumania, the bloopers may change, but the reaction remains the same! Enjoy some gaffes from the past (through the '60s, '70s and '80s) in Retro Resumania.

  • Reason for leaving: "Would like to live near the sea."
  • Cover letter: "Semi-retired. Not enough challenge."
  • Reason for leaving: "Company was disorganized."
  • Reason for leaving: "One of the partners had sticky fingers."
  • References: "All inquiries will be invalid - the parting was harsh and unfriendly and remains so."
  • References: "Have excellent work references from ALL employers though dismissed from last two jobs because of independence and liberalism. (Had option of retaining my position if I'd modify my principles.)
  • Resume: "An ethical believer in the brotherhood of man."
  • Reason for leaving: "Too much work."
  • Cover letter: "Do not mind occasional overtime activity, but desire a 30-hour week."
  • Experience: "When you're the boss' son, you do everything."
  • Health status: "Wear eye glasses."
  • Cover letter: "My ambition is always to do my very best at whatever job I am called upon to do."
  • Reason for leaving: "Fired, fired, fired."
  • Reason for leaving: "Married my boss."
  • Hobbies and interests: "YMCA, golf, fishing, nature study, philosophy, tennis, astronomy, handyman, Indian Guides, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, church service work, swimming, water skiing, dancing, reading, camping, cycling, jogging, and meeting and being with people."
  • Cover letter: "I tend to be frank in my opinions, since I feel that management is a busy team and it has no justifiable time for continual complainers … The time thus spent could be utilized if for none other than relaxation - at least that doesn't consume the time of someone else."
  • Medical history: "Chicken pox, measles, ringworm … "
  • Resume: "Trained musician, singer and public speaker. Also skilled in home repairs, remodeling, plumbing, electrical and carpentry."
  • Accomplishments: "Worked my way through college by organizing and playing in a jazz band. (Still my favorite outside interest, taking second place only to the enjoyment of living life with my wife and children.)"
  • Objective: "Married a woman with six children and am looking for a position that will give me security and longevity."
  • Achievements: "Was captain of college football team for three years and judged 'best player.'"
  • Personal: "I don't have any children, they're all adults."
  • Military: "No hero."
  • Cover letter: "The company is not appreciable with the new applications I keep applying."
  • Reason for leaving: "Disclosed information to the IRS agent that my boss wanted kept secret."
  • Height: "6 feet 34 inches."
  • Cover letter: "I would like my job to enable satisfaction of the following desires: quick and easy access to work from home; pleasant scenery and climate; congenial work environment; a good salary; a roomy house with a large playing space for children (prefer a big, roomy house with lots of land); a well-educated and cosmopolitan community in which to live."
  • Cover letter: "I am interested in Florida mostly. I would consider another area in the lower part of the United States. I definitely do not want North Carolina, Virginia or anywhere else north."
  • Personal: "Younger appearing than age."
  • Health: "Blood pressure, 110/70; cholesterol, 236 MGM%"
  • Personal: "I am looking forward to marriage - when the 'right one' comes along."
  • Temper: "Very moderate."
  • Personal: "Male; age 23; divorce pending."
  • Cover letter: "I am stubborn on matters of principle and major objectives."
  • Health: "Am naturopathic and very healthy."
  • Hobbies: "… electronic apparati, mechanical apparati; livestock and commercial breeding."
  • Personal: "Married, four young daughters; brown hair (graying fast)."
  • Objective: "In addition to my heavy financial experience, I can fill - quite nicely - the position of chaplain, either as a part of my work or as the main position."
  • Cover letter: "A main dislike of mine is more or less a complete and very poor group of personnel within American industry today, who are completely out of touch with the times. Also, companies that do not have profit sharing plans."
  • Compensation requirements: "Completely satisfied with a steady, modest salary."
  • Resume: "Licenses Held: State of Utah Driver's License."
  • Education: "Attended America's finest and best college - Dartmouth. Returned to graduate and soak up the co-educational atmosphere from and of the University of South Carolina. Also attended Harvard School of Business - finest business school in the world."
  • Activities and awards: "Name appeared in the who's who in the Southwest."
  • Marital status: "Newly married to wife of distinction."
  • Personal: "Married and father of four lovely children."
  • Objective: "I have as yet to find a job which is really challenged my abilities and know-how."
  • Personal: "Married, one wife, no children."
  • Objective: "I have the aptitude and the desire to become an expert in magnetic file systems. I shall expend every calorie of energy and every possible resource to attain this objective."
  • Objective: "Perfect would be an organization beset with a variety of problems while simultaneously beginning to stir with the fever of acquisitions and diversification."
  • Cover letter: "I am impatient with quibbling over minor details."
  • Resume: "Height: 6'1"; Weight: Don't ask."
  • Personal: "Married - nine children. Well-acquainted with long hours and hard work."
  • Personal: "Married a licensed funeral director."
  • Cover letter: "Most of the time I have been one cog in a large department and I wish to avoid this in the future."
  • "Marital responsibilities prevented extra curricular activities."
  • Objective: "At 35 years of age, I want to be married with three children."
  • "What I own: 1969 Ford and an RCA stereo."
  • Attributes: "Strong sense of humor. Flair for taxation. Sense of the dramatic."
  • "Personal habits: An occasional pipe or cigar, about $100 worth of liquor per year… mostly absorbed by guests."
  • Cover letter: "I dislike routine, ultra-conservative or defensive thinking, unnecessary jobs, inefficient systems and politicians."
  • Education: "Ph.d. - business administration; master plumber's license, state of Texas."
  • Personal: "Health excellent and vigorous. Star athlete and class 'B' golfer."
  • Hobbies: "I enjoy tinkering, I can type, weld, run machinery, cut timber, pitch hay and shear sheep."
  • Personal: "Married 1969 Chevrolet."
  • Personal: "Married. Will accept single status."
  • Job duties: "My work encompassed profit and lost entrees."
  • Background: "Jack of all trades, master of none."
  • Cover letter: "Would like to become president of a large corporation through continued exposure to top management, study and hard work. At the same time I have a commercial pilot's license, and am presently studying for an instrument rating. This will enable me to rapidly move myself and others in all weather conditions."
  • Personal: "I would consider performing civic activities where all expenses were paid by the employer."
  • Hobbies and interests: "I like groundhog hunting and ballroom dancing."
  • Personal: "My lovely wife's name is Barbara."
  • Personal: "In describing myself as a person, may I say simply that I love. I love my wife … I love my children … I love people and constant interaction with them … I love a challenge … I love to use my mind … And I love thoroughness and perfection in whatever it is that I attempt to do."
  • Personal: "Married; service completed."
  • Cover letter: "I tend to be open for all constructive criticism, but I will not subjugate myself to listening to continuous gripes…"
  • Personal: "Height, 6'2"; weight 185; suntanned; blue eyes; gray hair and a sense of humor."
  • Personal: "Was a blood donor 13 times."
  • Cover letter: "If time permits you may find me on the nearest lake trying my luck at fishing."
  • Background: "Married; health excellent and vigorous; star athlete and class B golfer."
  • Education: "Degree not obtained due to failure of comprehensive exam."
  • Personal: "Hair: Brown/gray (intact)"
  • "Have trick knee. Impairs only hard labor such as playing basketball."
  • State of health: "Excellent, I am never sick - even when nearly everyone around me is."
  • Hobbies: "I read science fiction, do a little sailing, cut stones, juggle and familiarize myself with some field that I know nothing about. My recent kick is vertebrate anthropology."
  • Abilities: "Painting with numbers. Fixing coin-operated machines."
  • Hobbies: "Bridge, chess, music, golf, golf and more golf."
  • Previous experience: "writer, author, move director, actor, numerologist, pedalianist."
  • "Married with children; no house; no furniture."
  • Personal: "Wife - immaculate; daughter - Mary Beth."
  • Cover letter: "As far as money is concerned, I would like to obtain as much as possible."
  • Cover letter: "No voluntary or involuntary bankruptcy proceedings have been filed against me."
  • Cover letter: "I want it completely understood that my objective is money."
  • Cover letter: "I am reasonably personable at 6'2" and 180 pounds."
  • Personal: "Am healthy and glamorous."
  • Activities: "Regular workouts. Will take on all ages in swimming, running or boxing."
  • Personal: "I enjoy a good game of chess, a good symphony and a good, dry martini."
  • Hobbies: "Writing poetry and collecting peculiar items."
  • Cover letter [for a financial planner position]: "Have four children: two girls, ages 16 and 13, and two boys, ages 10 and 7. (A strong testament to my planning skills!)"
  • Certifications: "certified public accountant; notary republic"
  • "The firm for which I currently work employs 20 odd people."
  • "My objectives are: to get my employer more than happy; get my wife and children happy; drive my convertible Cadillac in the sun; live the American way."
  • "I want a position with a company where there is absolutely no drinking."
  • "I prefer informality like wearing sport shirts and sandals for footwear in the summer. I prefer setting my own pace. When things get slack I like the right to walk out and get a haircut during working hours."
  • "I desire a position … that affords top echelon contacts, cross-fertillization and diversity."
  • "In my last position, got nowhere as part of a 60-person herd. Consequently, I did not give the company my full effort and received no chance of advancement in return."
  • "Being in trouble with the law, I moved quite frequently."
  • Reason for leaving: "Want to be facing Times Square so I can see the news."
  • "My boss was rude, inconsiderate and unappreciative … and his attitude and behavior are unbelievable."
  • "Have excellent work references from ALL employers though dismissed from last two jobs because of independence and liberalism."
  • Education: "Graduated with a 'B' average for my four years, placing me second in my class. (However, it should be noted that there were only six students in my class.)"
  • Activities: "Along with the project engineer, I worried a lot."
  • "The company must be willing to put a new person into its organization who will step on toes and makes many management people mad. However, it must be looking for someone who makes friends easily."
  • "My mother lives with me. She is 69 years old and can travel."
  • "My company's assets more than doubled under my five-year leadership. I resigned after making unauthorized loan to myself."
  • "At the age of 12, I began hustling newspapers like many other great Americans had done. The only difference was that they became great."
  • Qualifications: "I have an extensive and conservative Saville Row wardrobe, which will take me with dignity into any group. My home office and my El Dorado might be useful."
  • "I develop ideas not beyond immediate comprehension (such as many of Leonardo da Vinci's in his lifetime). Rather, ideas so practical as to be immediately understandable, such as a better way to clean a toilet."
  • "Willing to relocate anywhere except Antarctica, countries of political unrest and New York City."
  • Financial history: "Lawsuit pending."
  • "Finest student and greatest orator to ever come out of local high school. Attended America's finest and best college and then went on to the best business school in the world."
  • "Usually, either through urgency or impatience, I have taken the first job available, and it just as regularly proved to be a dead end."
  • Objective: "To move as soon as possible. A big evening here is a 'beer bust.' No one plays bridge, and we are bored stiff."
  • Reason for leaving: "Cotton prices fell, and so did some of their employees."
  • "Subjects I dislike: ethics, physical science, the IRS."
  • "I do not smoke now. I quit when I was 10 years old, just 55 years ago."
  • Reason for leaving: "Company failed. Lost everything and then some."
  • "I was discharged because of the false belief that I was the instigator of a petition to a local restaurant, which stated our opinion of the food, service and policies."
  • "The following definition of public accounting is copied from a book; it serves to sum up the whole story of my career in a nutshell."

Certain details in these items have been changed to protect the identity of the job seeker.