Some Resumania examples are so classic, we've inducted them into the "Hall of Fame." Listed here are some classics we felt warranted this distinction. We'd like our visitors to get in on the nominating procedure. If you believe any of the fresh Resumania we list on our home page deserves this honor, please submit your recommendation to us using our Feedback Form.

  • "OTHERS: I have always loved Art."
  • He's a lucky guy.
  • "OBJECTIVE: A job."
  • Any one will do.
  • "COVER LETTER: I would appreciate the opportunity to review my qualifications."
  • Go right ahead.
  • "OBJECTIVE: To become a billionier."
  • A candidate who's not on the money.
  • "AWARDS: My last client called me a god, so that was award enough."
  • The highest of praise.
  • "EXPERIENCE: More than seven (8) years of general experience, of which more than four (5) years is in analyzing, designing and testing client/server applications."
  • That statement does not compute.
  • "COVER LETTER: In my next life, I will be a professional backup dancer or a rabbi."
  • And in this life?
  • "HOBBIES: Michael Bolton."
  • That's a first.
  • "INTERESTS: Chess, soccer, cricket bowling."
  • Crickets can bowl?
  • "OBJECTIVE: To work for any pay."
  • Negotiation isn’t his strong suit.
  • "JOB HISTORY: Restaurant manager. Cleaned and supervised employees."
  • That is clearly going above and beyond the call of duty.
  • "OBJECTIVE: I am seeking a permanent position to get out of debt."
  • Will we get anything out of the deal?
  • "POSITION DESIRED: Profreader."
  • It doesn't look good...
  • "SKILLS: Goog at computer work."
  • We have our doubts.
  • "COVER LETTER: Please, before you blow me off as 'overqualified,' understand that what I am overqualified for is being a department-store greeter."
  • Duly noted.
  • "COVER LETTER: Making me an addition to this workforce will not be a problem."
  • We're not so sure about that.
  • "REFERENCES: Scott."
  • We'll need a little more to go on.
  • "EDUCATION: Trained in CPR and harassment."
  • About that second course...
  • "JOB DUTIES: Marketing assistant: When writing and editing actor bios for theater playbills, I had to explain to small-town actors that no one really cared that they had the starring role in things like Mrs. Smith's third-grade class rendition of Peter and the Pumpkin Patch."
  • Speak for yourself.
  • "EDUCATION: Took a specialty course titled How to Be Patient With an Impatient Boss."
  • We'd like to hear the boss' side of the story.
  • "COVER LETTER: I realize that my resume is no longer exemplary thanks to my family destroying the computer file."
  • There's a story there somewhere.
  • "OTHER: When my situation allows, I would like to get a puppy."
  • Including irrelevant personal information in your resume is a pet peeve of employers.
  • "ATTRIBUTES: I enjoy working closely with customers, and my pleasant demeanor helps them feel comfortable and relaxed - not afraid."
  • Do they have something to fear?
  • "OBJECTIVE: I am looking for a challenging career where there is scope for ample demonstration because I am always on the lookout for a positive and bigger outlook, currency and ideas which thrive on imagination, passion and boundless curiosity and rigorous thinking."
  • Huh?
  • "JOB DUTIES: Answer phones, file papers, respond to customer e-mails, take odors."
  • A smelly job, but someone has to do it.
  • "JOB HISTORY: I work in the store's men's department, stalking shirts and pants."
  • No doubt sneaking up on a bargain.
  • "JOB DUTIES: As an administrative professional, I coordinate meetings, make travel arrangements and assist security staff with badgering."
  • A professional pest.
  • "INTERESTS: Gossiping."
  • Rumor has it you're not getting an interview.
  • "COVER LETTER: To creeat creeactions that satisfy both my customers and my creeactivity."
  • Now, that's some creative spelling!
  • "SKILLS: The ability to use short bursts of muscle force to propel myself - as in jumping or sprinting or throwing an object."
  • That's one way to fast-track your career.
  • "OBJECTIVE: To find a challenging and rewarding job in a _______."
  • Should we fill in the blank?
  • "JOB HISTORY: Grocery store catchier."
  • Catchy" job title!
  • "QUALIFICATIONS: Self-motivated, organized and detail oriented. High standards including attention to detail and quality of work."
  • Very good with detail, apparently.
  • COVER LETTER: "I prefer a fast-paste work environment."
  • For life's stickiest situations.
  • "SKILLS: I can type without looking at thekeyboard."
  • You might want to glance down every once in a while.
  • "EXPERIENCE: Chapter president, 1887-1992."
  • Apparently there were no term limits.
  • COVER LETTER: "Please find my resume."
  • Did you look under the couch?
  • "OBJECTIVE: I want to play a major part in watching a company advance."
  • We'll put a Barcalounger next to your desk.
  • EXPERIENCE: "Chapter president, 1887-1992."
  • Apparently there were no term limits.
  • COVER LETTER: "Please find my resume."
  • Did you look under the couch?
  • OBJECTIVE: "I want to play a major part in watching a company advance."
  • We'll put a Barcalounger next to your desk.
  • PERSONAL: "Former surfer turned receptionist."
  • Traded in his surfboard for a switchboard.
  • EXPERIENCE: "Only employee of a small distribution company."
  • Can't get much smaller than that.
  • LANGUAGES: "Speak English and Spinach."
  • Must be what they teach at the culinary academy.
  • DUTIES: "Included deposing trash at the end of each working day."
  • I hope he's not a lawyer.
  • LANGUAGES: "Fluent in English. Also I have been heard muttering Gibberish in my sleep."
  • Was that offered in your foreign language curriculum?
  • COVER LETTER: "I'm attacking my resume for you to review."
  • Don't be so hard on yourself!
  • DUTIES: "Walked from one point to another."
  • Obviously takes direction well.
  • EMPLOYMENT: "Small family business that holds no potential. Owner and managers, my father and his brothers, have no business sense."
  • Tell us what you really think.
  • ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENT: "Received the Smith Schlorship Award."
  • Spelling not a requisite.
  • REASON FOR LEAVING LAST JOB: "Fried."
  • Either she was fired, or suffered from a serious case of burnout.
  • OBJECTIVE: "To be able to wear feathers to work. Appropriately, of course."
  • Of course.
  • References: "Don't bother. My parting from two previous jobs resembled a horror show."
  • We'll look for the DVD.
  • Personal: "Age 37, happily married, with two dogs, four cats, a fish and three children: daughter 9 going on 25; son age 5 going on 1; twins on the way; and daughter age 2, confused by it all."
  • She's not the only one.
  • Cover letter: "My work ethics are impeachable."
  • Ever considered politics?
  • Cover letter: "My mother delivered me without anesthesia so I have an IQ of 146 and can therefore learn anything."
  • Glad to hear it.
  • Work experience: "Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse."
  • Doesn't sound like the kind of experience most employers are looking for.
  • Cover letter: "Must be home in time to watch 'Melrose Place.'"
  • Don't let us stop you.
  • Reason for leaving: "They stopped paying me."
  • I can't think of a better reason.
  • [From an application] Please explain any breaks in your employment career: "15 minute coffee break while working at a home improvement store."
  • Talk about steady employment ...
  • Cover letter: "I never take anything for granite."
  • I think we're already off to a rocky start.
  • Resume: "I have a lifetime's worth of technical expertise (I wasn't born - my mother simply chose 'eject child' from the special menu.)"
  • Was someone there to catch you?
  • Cover letter: "Worked in a consulting office where I carried out my own accountant."
  • Guess he wasn't that heavy.
  • Thank-you letter: "Thank you for taking the time to beet me for an interview."
  • Lettuce say it was our pleasure!
  • Interests: "Shot at the local gun club."
  • Next time, you might want to stand behind the bulletproof glass.
  • "I'm attacking my resume for you to review."
  • Don't be so hard on yourself.
  • "I realize that my total lack of appropriate experience may concern those considering me for employment."
  • Thanks for the "heads up."
  • "Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel."
  • A new twist on work-family balance.
  • Personal: "Excellant at people oreinted positi9ons and organizional problem solving."
  • But has yet to master the spell check.
  • Personal: "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
  • That's that's good.
  • Job duties: "Planned and held up numerous meetings."
  • Take the minutes, stick to the agenda and no one gets hurt.
  • Other: "Received a plague for Salesman of the Year."
  • Get well soon!
  • Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"
  • Hey, let's not get personal.
  • Skills: "Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory."
  • But how's your math ability?
  • "I am a rabid typist."
  • And a maniac with numbers, no doubt.
  • "Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
  • If you insist...
  • "Please disregard the attached resume &151; it is terribly out of date."
  • OK &151; next!
  • References: "None. I've left a path of destruction behind me."
  • I hope you have insurance.
  • "I am a great team player I am."
  • And I do not like green eggs and ham!
  • "Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
  • I'm afraid we'll need proof.
  • "Please don't regard my 14 positions as job-hopping. I never once quit a job."
  • Uh-oh ...
  • Sales experience: "1886 &150; 1992."
  • Bet you can sell just about anything!
  • Qualifications: "Able to whistle while pretending to drink water at the same time."
  • If we need to liven up those staff meetings, we'll be sure to give you a call.
  • "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."
  • How big a role did you play?
  • Qualifications: "I have incredibly entertaining hair."
  • We'll watch for it on video.
  • Experience: "I was a CFO for a wholesaler of women's slacks. We also sold men's bottoms."
  • It must have been good for your "bottom line."
  • "Please note that I have a Fortune 500 pedigree."
  • Your resume appeared a bit dog-eared.
  • Size of employer: "6'1."
  • Must have been a small business.
  • Reason for leaving: "It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."
  • "It" doesn't sound very good.
  • Work history: "Bum. Abandoned belongings and led nomadic lifestyle."
  • So you're willing to travel?
  • "Am allergic to copy toner and scoundrels."
  • Can't argue with that.

Certain details in these items have been changed to protect the identity of the job seeker.