// JavaScript Document
var reloadFunc = "textArray.showItems('question','answer');guyArray.showItems('guy');";
var textArray = new rotArray();
var guyArray = new rotArray();
function onLoad() {
eval(reloadFunc);
start_Int(reloadFunc,milInterval);
}
function onUnload() {
stop_Int();
}
textArray.values.push( new Array("REFERENCES: My girlfriend." , "We need someone a little more impartial."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("INTERESTS: Tuxedos." , "Our dress code is slightly less formal."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("EDUCATION: Studied public rations." , "Must be a new major."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("COVER LETTER: You are going to read this letter and think I am either too serious or a complete flake." , "Which would you prefer?"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("AWARDS: My last client called me a god, so that was award enough.","He's a lucky guy."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("EXPERIENCE: More than seven (8) years of general experience, of which more than four (5) years is in analyzing, designing and testing client/server applications.","Any one will do."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("COVER LETTER: In my next life, I will be a professional backup dancer or a rabbi.","Go right ahead."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("HOBBIES: Michael Bolton.","A candidate who's not on the money."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("INTERESTS: Chess, soccer, cricket bowling.","The highest of praise."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("OBJECTIVE: To work for any pay.","That statement does not compute."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("JOB HISTORY: Restaurant manager. Cleaned and supervised employees.","And in this life?"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("OBJECTIVE: I am seeking a permanent position to get out of debt.","That's a first."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("POSITION DESIRED: Profreader.","Crickets can bowl?"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("SKILLS: Goog at computer work.","Negotiation isn't his strong suit."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("COVER LETTER: Please, before you blow me off as 'overqualified,' understand that what I am overqualified for is being a department-store greeter.","That is clearly going above and beyond the call of duty."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("COVER LETTER: Making me an addition to this workforce will not be a problem.","Will we get anything out of the deal?"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("REFERENCES: Scott.","It doesn't look good..."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("EDUCATION: Trained in CPR and harassment.","We have our doubts."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("JOB DUTIES: Marketing assistant: When writing and editing actor bios for theater playbills, I had to explain to small-town actors that no one really cared that they had the starring role in things like Mrs. Smith's third-grade class rendition of 'Peter and the Pumpkin Patch'.","Duly noted."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("EDUCATION: Took a specialty course titled 'How to Be Patient With an Impatient Boss'.","We're not so sure about that."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("COVER LETTER: I am not at liberty to disclose details of my work due to its sensible nature.","We'll need a little more to go on."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("OBJECTIVE: To utilize my creative talent in a mundane office.","About that second course..."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("SKILLS: I offer mediocrity at its best.","Speak for yourself."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("RESUME: I won't perform well under pressure.","We'd like to hear the boss' side of the story."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("COVER LETTER: I realize that my resume is no longer exemplary thanks to my family destroying the computer file.","James Bond in comfort shoes."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("OTHER: When my situation allows, I would like to get a puppy.","And you thought we fit the bill?"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("ATTRIBUTES: I enjoy working closely with customers, and my pleasant demeanor helps them feel comfortable and relaxed - not afraid.","No argument here."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("OBJECTIVE: I am looking for a challenging career where there is scope for ample demonstration because I am always on the lookout for a positive and bigger outlook, currency and ideas which thrive on imagination, passion and boundless curiosity and rigorous thinking.","You have 10 seconds to rewrite that sentence."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("JOB DUTIES: Answer phones, file papers, respond to customer e-mails, take odors.","There's a story there somewhere."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("JOB HISTORY: I work in the store's men's department, stalking shirts and pants.","Including irrelevant personal information in your resume is a pet peeve of employers."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("JOB DUTIES: As an administrative professional, I coordinate meetings, make travel arrangements and assist security staff with badgering.","Do they have something to fear?"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("INTERESTS: Gossiping.","Huh?"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("EDUCATION: Moron University.","A smelly job, but someone has to do it."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("SKILLS: Handcuffing techniques.","No doubt sneaking up on a bargain."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("COMPUTER PROFICIENCY: Microsoft Mord, Mexcel and MowerPoint.","A professional pest."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("COVER LETTER: Through my career experiences, I have become inept at communication skills.","Rumor has it you're not getting an interview."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("COVER LETTER: To creeat creeactions that satisfy both my customers and my creeactivity.","We hope that's a typo."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("SKILLS: The ability to use short bursts of muscle force to propel myself - as in jumping or sprinting or throwing an object.","That's a skill we hope you never have to use."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("COVER LETTER: I work as a camp counsler.","You might want to check the M key."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("OBJECTIVE: To find a challenging and rewarding job in a _______.","Indeed you have."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("COVER LETTER: I would love to interview for the position of (insert job title here). If you grant me an interview for (insert job title here), I feel confident you'll see why I'm the right person for the job.","Now, that's some creative spelling!"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("EDUCATION: High school degree or equivalent.","That's one way to fast-track your career."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("JOB HISTORY: Grocery store catchier.","Evidently, there were no dictionaries at camp."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("COVER LETTER: I'm a runner - although sporadically in the last six months.","Should we fill in the blank?"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("SKILLS: Open to new iddeas.","Due to your failure to proofread, we can't help but (insert polite rejection line here)."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("CURRENT JOB: Dogg cleaner.","Which is it?"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("SKILLS: "I can type without looking at thekeyboard."","Catchy job title!"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("ADDITIONAL SKILLS: "Computers and off ice machines."","Write us back once you've hit your stride."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("EMPLOYER: "Myself; received pay raise for high sales."","OK, here's one: Be sure you proofread your resume before submitting it."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("SKILLS: "Very high learning ability and simple thinking."","A dirty doggone job, but someone has to do it."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("EXPERIENCE: "Handled horrendous projects that no one else wanted to do (especially major filing)."","You might want to glance down every once in a while."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("QUALIFICATIONS: "Self-motivated, organized and detail oriented. High standards including attention to detail and quality of work."","A cool contender."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("EXPERIENCE: "Pizza delivery: Took orders over the phone. Great delivery service. Great delivery service."","It's good to be the boss."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("EXPERIENCE: "Detailed-oriented saleman."","Isn't that an oxymoron?"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("COVER LETTER: "I prefer a fast-paste work environment."","That's the spirit."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("MISCELLANEOUS: "I'm taking tae kwon do. I have my orange belt at the moment, but I'm going for my black belt."","Very good with detail, apparently."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("EXPERIENCE: "Chapter president, 1887-1992."","You can say that again."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("COVER LETTER: "Please find my resume."","We have our doubts."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("OBJECTIVE: "I want to play a major part in watching a company advance."","For life's stickiest situations."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("LANGUAGES: "Speak English and Spinach."","A clear warning to anyone who pilfers his lunch from the break room."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("EXPERIENCE: "Only employee of a small distribution company."","Apparently there were no term limits."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("PERSONAL: "Former surfer turned receptionist."","Did you look under the couch?"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("DUTIES: "Included deposing trash at the end of each working day."","We'll put a Barcalounger next to your desk."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("LANGUAGES: "Fluent in English. Also I have been heard muttering Gibberish in my sleep."","Must be what they teach at the culinary academy."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("EMPLOYMENT: "Small family business that holds no potential. Owner and managers, my father and his brothers, have no business sense."","Can't get much smaller than that."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("OTHERS: I have always loved Art.","Traded in his surfboard for a switchboard."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("OBJECTIVE: A job.","I hope he's not a lawyer."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("COVER LETTER: I would appreciate the opportunity to review my qualifications.","Was that offered in your foreign language curriculum?"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("OBJECTIVE: To become a billionier.","Tell us what you really think."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENT: "Received the Smith Schlorship Award."","Spelling not a requisite."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("REASON FOR LEAVING LAST JOB: "Fried."","Either she was fired, or suffered from a serious case of burnout."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("OBJECTIVE: "To be able to wear feathers to work. Appropriately, of course."","Of course."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("References: "Don't bother. My parting from two previous jobs resembled a horror show."","We'll look for the DVD."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Personal: "Age 37, happily married, with two dogs, four cats, a fish and three children: daughter 9 going on 25; son age 5 going on 1; twins on the way; and daughter age 2, confused by it all."","She's not the only one."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Cover letter: "My work ethics are impeachable."","Ever considered politics?"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Cover letter: "My mother delivered me without anesthesia so I have an IQ of 146 and can therefore learn anything."","Glad to hear it."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Work experience: "Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse." ","Doesn't sound like the kind of experience most employers are looking for."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Cover letter: "Must be home in time to watch 'Melrose Place.'","Don't let us stop you."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Reason for leaving: "They stopped paying me." ","I can't think of a better reason."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("[From an application] Please explain any breaks in your employment career: "15 minute coffee break while working at a home improvement store." ","Talk about steady employment ..."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("I'm attacking my resume for you to review.","Don't be so hard on yourself."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("I realize that my total lack of appropriate experience may concern those considering me for employment.","Thanks for the "heads up.""));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.","A new twist on work-family balance."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Personal: "Excellant at people oreinted positi9ons and organizional problem solving." ","But has yet to master the spell check."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Personal: "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."","That's that's good."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Job duties: "Planned and held up numerous meetings."","Take the minutes, stick to the agenda and no one gets hurt."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Other: "Received a plague for Salesman of the Year."","Get well soon!"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"","Hey, let's not get personal."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Skills: "Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory."","But how is your math ability?"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("I am a rabid typist.","And a maniac with numbers, no doubt."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.","If you insist ..."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Please disregard the attached resume - it is terribly out of date.","OK - next!"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("References: "None. I've left a path of destruction behind me."","I hope you have insurance."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("I am a great team player I am. ","And I do not like green eggs and ham!"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Proven ability to track down and correct erors.","I'm afraid we'll need proof."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Please don't regard my 14 positions as job-hopping. I never once quit a job.","Uh-oh ..."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Sales experience: "1886 - 1992."","Bet you can sell just about anything!"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Qualifications: "Able to whistle while pretending to drink water at the same time."","If we need to liven up those staff meetings, we'll be sure
to give you a call."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."","How big a role did you play?"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Qualifications: "I have incredibly entertaining hair."","We'll watch for it on video."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Experience: "I was a CFO for a wholesaler of women's slacks. We also sold men's bottoms."","It must have been good for your "bottom line.""));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Please note that I have a Fortune 500 pedigree.","Your resume appeared a bit dog-eared."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Size of employer: "6'1."","Must have been a small business."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Reason for leaving: "It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."","It doesn't sound very good."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Work history: "Bum. Abandoned belongings and led nomadic lifestyle."","So you're willing to travel?"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Am allergic to copy toner and scoundrels.","Can't argue with that. "));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Cover letter: "I never take anything for granite."","I think we're already off to a
rocky start."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Resume: "I have a lifetime's worth of technical expertise (I wasn't born - my mother simply chose 'eject child' from the special menu.)"","Was someone there to catch you?"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Cover letter: "Worked in a consulting office where I carried out my own accountant."","Guess he wasn't that heavy."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Thank-you letter: "Thank you for taking the time to beet me for an interview."","Lettuce say it was our pleasure!"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("Interests: "Shot at the local gun club."","Next time, you might want to stand behind the bulletproof glass."));
textArray.values.push( new Array("COVER LETTER: I'm attacking my resume for you to review.","Don't be so hard on yourself!"));
textArray.values.push( new Array("DUTIES: Walked from one point to another.","Obviously takes direction well."));
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